Seven Words
Article – 4 Rules for Starting Over after Failure
I sometimes stumble.
I sometimes fall.
I sometimes fail.
So do you.
Each of these three things is different by degree. To stumble is not to fall. To fall is not to fail. To fail is not necessarily forever. The question is how to start over after we have stumbled, fell, and failed? How do we begin again?
A wise person learns from the history of others. The foolish have to learn everything by the pain of their own history. Real fools never learn. By looking at one story of Peter we can learn the four step process of starting over and turning failure into success.
Remember the story? Peter tragically denied that he knew Jesus. It happened between 1 and 5 on the cold night when Jesus was betrayed by Judas. As the soldiers led Jesus away, Peter followed at a distance. Friends of the enemies of Jesus thought they recognized Peter as one of the his followers. Three times they asked him and three times he denied it. Peter did not simply deny that he knew Jesus. He also denied that he had a relationship with Jesus.
If Peter’s story ended here, it would teach us nothing except that good men can fail. Fortunately there is a better ending to the story. Fifty-three days later Peter the Denier because Peter the Evangelist. He became a man who shows us how to start over and make it work. His journey demonstrates four steps to every restart in life.
Rule 1 – Take an honest look at yourself.
You can see this step in Mark 14:30, “Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: ‘Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.’ And he broke down and wept.”
Peter wept because he saw himself for what he was – fearful and cowering. He took an honest look at himself and didn’t like what he saw. Before a lost man can find himself, he must realize that he is lost. Some men (and women) find this hard to do and so remain lost. If today you find yourself in the throes of failure, the first step to recovery is to admit that you are lost. Take an honest look at yourself.
Rule 2 – Engage your emotions.
Notice that our text says that after he remembered that he failed Jesus, “He broke down and wept.” (Mark 14:72).
Except for those people who cry about everything, tears are not a sign of weakness. Tears are a sign of passion. They show you care. If you have failed, engage you emotions and get started again. No, you do not have to cry, but you do have to care passionately about making things right.
Rule 3 – Forgive yourself.
There are two words in Mark 16:7 which amaze me. After Jesus rose from the dead an angel instructed those at the tomb to go back and tell his disciple that Jesus is alive. The phrase “his disciples” includes all of them, but the angel says to tell “his disciples and Peter.” If Peter is included in the phrase “his disciples” then it seems redundant to add the words, “and Peter.” I feel confident that the angel added those two words at the instruction of Jesus. Jesus knew that Peter had failed miserably and might need special mention to assure him that he could get past his failure. I can almost hear Peter asking, “Did he really say ‘and Peter?’”
If you have failed, forgive yourself. Everybody fails. Everybody! Until you forgive yourself you will be stuck in the past. You will be stuck in your failure.
Rule 4 – Start doing something different.
Peter had denied a relationship with Jesus, but then he ran to the tomb. A few days later he stood on the temple mount and preached the first Gospel sermon.
Until you start doing something positive and different, you have not started over. You can’t just cry and forgive yourself. You have to start doing something. The old phrase is not “Well said” but “Well done.”
Make a new plan. Get good counsel on this step. Proverbs 15:22 tells us, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Ask someone who has walked the same path before you.
Make a plan and stick to it. Do something different. This is part of the formula for starting over, for turning failure into something good. Do something different. If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you have right now. How is that working out for you?
One final note…
If this process does not work, go back to step one and start over again. Repeat the process again and again and again until you get it right. Remember, “Failure is not the opposite of success. It is part of success.”
Lonnie Davis
Quote
“We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.”
~ Aristotle
Scripture – Colossians 3:23
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart,
as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”
Bible Quiz
- What is the first thing that God ever said was “Not good?”
- Who had an all night wrestling match with an angel and wound up crippled because of it?
- How many angels are given names in the Bible?
(For answers see bottom)
Resource: Bible.is
“Bible.is” is a Bible reading application for your smart phone. It contains many translations and is free. The great thing about the program is that you can look up a verse and then hit a button and listen to a professional recording of the Bible. You can get it for either the iPad, iPhone, or an Android phone. Google it and download it. It will be a blessing to you. You can drive down the road or lay in your bed and listen to a beautiful reading of the Bible for free!
Humor
My dog reacts to a vacuum the same way I do when my wife says, “We have to talk.”
Fact
Here is something most Christians do because the Pope started it. In 590AD, the world was in the throes of a plague that eventually killed more than 25 million people. One of the early signs of the plague was sneezing. Pope Gregory instructed Catholics to offer unceasing prayer for divine intervention. Part of his instruction was when anyone sneezed an immediate prayer should be said. That prayer was “God bless you.” (Taken from National Geographic).
Answers to QUIZ
- God said it was “not good” for man to be alone. (Genesis 2:18)
- Jacob, Abraham’s grandson wrestled all night with a man who certainly was an angel. In the end he because crippled because of this encounter. (Genesis 32:22-31)
- Only two angels are known by their names in the Bible: Gabriel and Michael. They found in numerous places in the Bible. There are other angels, but their names are not mentioned.
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Welcome
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There are people who do not have problems, but they all reside six feet under the ground. As long as we live we will have problems and face difficulties.
In the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 there are four rules for dealing with problems. (Mark 6).
Surrounded by people, Jesus and the disciples took a boat attempting to go to a secluded and private place. The crowds anticipated where Jesus was going and were waiting for him when he landed. Jesus had compassion for the people and did not send them away, but taught them.
As is true when listening a great teacher, the time flew by. It late so the disciples became concerned and asked Jesus to send the crowds away so they could get something to eat. There were 5,000 men (besides any women and children) stranded in a wilderness place who needed to eat.
By examining how Jesus solved this story, we can learn four rules for solving our problems.
Rule #1: CONFRONT your problem.
Confronting the problem was not the first impulse of the disciples. Notice their solution to the problem:
“When it was already quite late, His disciples came to Him and said, ‘This place is desolate and it is already quite late; send them away so that they may go into the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.’ But He answered them, ‘You give them something to eat!’ And they said to Him, ‘Shall we go and spend two hundred denarii on bread and give them something to eat?’” (Mark 6:35-37).
The Disciples had two answers for the problem:
1. Get rid of the problem by telling them to go away. Mark 6:35-36
2. Throw money at the problem – John 6:7
Neither of those were real solutions, but they are often the favorite solutions of man. Jesus had a better idea – confront and deal with the problem.
Problems don’t get better by ignoring them. I’ve tried it and so have you. To solve a problem you have to confront the problem. You have to confront it, accept it, make a plan, and deal with it. If you don’t it will always be a problem.
RULE #2 – Don’t overlook the SIMPLE resources.
Notice the simple resources the disciples had.
Jesus “said to them, ‘How many loaves do you have? Go look!’ And when they found out, they said, ‘Five, and two fish.’” (Mark 6:38).
This was not nearly enough, but it was something. It was simple, but little is more than enough when God is in it. This is clear as the story continues.
“They all ate and were satisfied, and they picked up twelve full baskets of the broken pieces, and also of the fish. There were five thousand men who ate the loaves.” (Mark 6:42-44).
When you face a problem, do not stare so long at the problem so that you miss even the simple resource that you have. This was the same truth seen in the story of David and Goliath. The soldiers stared at the giant and thought they were defeated. David glanced at the giant and looked toward God and knew he and God could defeat the giant.
God can change your resources from “not nearly enough” to “more than I need.”
RULE #3 – Be THANKFUL in the midst of the problem
While they only had five loaves of bread and two fish, Jesus gave thanks. He “Took the loaves, and having given thanks, He distributed to those who were seated.” (John 6:11).
When Jesus stood at the grave of Lazarus and before Lazarus was raised from the dead, Jesus prayed, “Father, I thank you…” (John 11:41).
Paul urged the Thessalonians, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances.” (5:16,18).
Any old heathen can be thankful when a problem is finally solved, but it takes a man or woman of faith to be thankful in the midst of the problem. We are thankful because we know that God has handled our problems before and will handle this problem too. Be thankful. You are not going through this alone.
RULE #4 – Do what you can and trust God with the rest.
The disciples knew there was no human way for this problem to be handled. This is why they counseled Jesus, “Send them away.” There was no human way, but Jesus knew something the disciples did not. He knew that we can do all we can and then trust God for the rest.
We may not like the way God handles the problem, but he always knows the right way. The end of God handling this problem was that they not only feed the thousands, they ended with more than when they began. They started with five loaves and two fish and ended with twelve baskets full of leftovers.
If you will tackle the problem using the simple resources you have and are thankful, God will do for you what you cannot do.
You will have your own baskets full of blessings.
Lonnie Davis