In the first half of the twentieth century William Beverbrook was a newspaper publisher in England. On one occasion he wrote an insulting editorial about Edward Heath who was a young member of Parliament. A few days after that editorial he happened to meet Mr. Heath in the washroom of a London club.
Mr. Beverbrook spoke first, “My dear chap,” said the publisher, embarrassed by the encounter. “I’ve been thinking it over, and I was wrong. Here and now, I wish to apologize.” “Very well,” grunted Heath. “But the next time, I wish you’d insult me in the washroom and apologize in your newspaper.”
He apologized badly. Unfortunately newspapers are not the only ones to mess up apologies. So that you will not fail in your apology, here are three rules for a good apology.
1. Apologize as soon as you can.
A Christian should never let a day go by without trying to make things right. Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” If there is something between you and another, handle it now!
2. Apologize for what you have done and not for what they may feel.
An apology is not about “If I have hurt you,” or “If you were offended” or “If in any way you were.” When an apology starts off with an “if” it cannot end well. A real apology would say, “I am sorry for what I said. It was hurtful and wrong. I vow that I will not do this kind of thing again. I ask for your forgiveness.”
3. Apologize whether you meant it for harm or not.
You are a good person. You did not mean to hurt the other person. Maybe not, but it did hurt. Just apologize and then by the way you treat the other person show them that you did not mean to hurt them. Put you deeds where you want your words to be.
Paul wrote, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Rom 12:19). Next time you are tempted to say or do something for which you may need to apologize later, remember if you have been wronged, God will defend you. If you have not been wronged, you do not need defense. You need repentance.
Lonnie Davis
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