I’ve traveled highway 45 between Houston and Dallas so many times that I know where things are by the mile markers along the way. My son still makes this journey often and when he calls me to tell me he is “going to Houston,” I always ask him what mile marker he just passed. Mile marker 178 is Buffalo, Texas and marker 118 is Huntsville. For me, I am in Houston when I hit mile marker 64.
Highways are not the only mile markers. Our spiritual lives have markers along the way. The presence or absence of these markers tells us where we are in the journey. If we do not see the marker of prayer in our life, we are not on the right spiritual track. Worship and giving are two more spiritual markers in our journey.
Forgiveness also has mile markers along the way. Jesus said, “If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matt 6:14-15). If you want God to forgive you of your sins, you must forgive others when they hurt you. Presence or absence of my forgiveness of those who hurt me is a clear marker of God’s forgiveness of me.
Such a thought can be heavy on our hearts. In our desperation to have forgiveness, we make try to fake forgiveness for others. Fake forgiveness is saying we forgive, but not really forgiving. Listed below are four mile markers for real forgiveness. These markers all involve our prayers for the offending person (we’ll call him Bill). Obviously if you are not willing to pray for Bill, you have not truly forgiven him.
- The first prayer of forgiveness:
“Lord, please be with Bill and help him see how much he has hurt and wronged me.” - The second prayer of forgiveness:
“Lord, forgive Bill of his sin.” - The third prayer of forgiveness:
“Lord, bless Bill that the rest of his life will be better.” - The real prayer of forgiveness:
“Lord, I thank you for being with Bill. I am so happy that his life is blessed by you. Please continue to bless him.”
You know you have forgiven when you no longer pray for Bill to repent, but instead thank God for the blessings He has bestowed on Bill.
If you want to be forgiven, forgive. If you want to know if you have forgiven, pray. The tone of your prayer and the emotion in your heart will tell you where you are in your process of forgiveness.
Lonnie Davis