The book got it wrong, men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus. Men and women are completely different species. Since we are so different, how do we learn about each other? The number one way we learn about each other is through marriage. Nobody really knows the person they marry. If they say they do, just smile and in 10 years ask them if they knew each other when they first married. The secret to a good marriage is that marriage is not about marrying the person you love, but loving the person you marry.

Along the journey of marriage there are many lessons to be learned, but I think I know what marriage’s first lesson is. The first lesson is this: “Your marriage is not your parent’s marriage.” I know, I know, the one thing you wanted was a marriage that was different than your parents. Whatever your intentions, when you first married you had expectations of marriage you learned from watching your parents.

I remember learning this in my own marriage. When I was a kid, money sometimes got tight around the house and even ten dollars could make a difference. When things got hard, my dad would go to mom and ask if she had any money hidden away. Amazingly, she often did. Mom had a practice of saving a few dollars here and there and then hording it away for a rainy day.

When Liz and I got married, I thought that is what wives did. We were both in college and finances were tight. The first time we ran out of money, I went to my wife and asked if she had any money hidden away. She did not look at me like I was from Mars, that planet was too close. She looked at me like I was from Pluto or maybe was Pluto. In her house that is not what happened and that is not what she did.

At the time I did not explain all of this to her, but I learned that she and I would have our own marriage. It turns out that it was better because it was ours. Through the years there have been many more lessons, but this was the first one. Our marriage was our own and would be what we make it.

Lonnie Davis

“God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never

will I forsake you.'” – Hebrews 13:5

A death in a family often gives a minister a chance to meet new people. When I walked into the house, there was an elderly lady sitting next to the window. I sat beside her and she told me her story. She had eight children and the funeral was for one of her sons. She added, “I have 33 grandchildren.” She paused and then continued, “I also have 33 great-grandchildren.” Seventy-four children! That is a busy life.

I teased her a bit and asked, “Do you know all their names?” She smiled and then answered, “Not only do I know off of their names, I know all of their birthdays.” She smiled again, “And I never forget a single one.”

She remembered all of her children and her children’s children, but I will always remember her. She reminds me of Isaiah 49:

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”
(Verses, 1, 6, 15)

God never forget you.

In the 1960s, Jim Marshall was a member of the Minnesota Vikings football team. On October 25, 1964, Marshall scooped up a fumble and race toward the end zone for a touchdown. He ran for 66 yards and then jubilantly tossed the football into the stands. He had no idea he had just raced to the wrong end zone and scored a safety for the other team. From then on there would always be people who would remember him as Jim “Wrong Way” Marshall.

God does not treat you like a “Wrong Way” person. He does not remembers your blunders. The greatness of God is that he knows when to remember and when to forget.

When life tumbles in and stress is beating you down, when you feel forgotten, God remembers you. The phrase, “God remembers you” is found 73 times in the Bible. You are never alone. When I mess up and nearly destroy my own life, God forgets my mistakes and gives me another chance and another chance and another chance.

I love the selective memory of God.

Lonnie Davis

Have you ever seen a “Plate Spinner” on television? He or she will come on stage with a huge stack of plates. There are always several six foot poles sticking up out of the stage. The plate spinner will put a plate on the top of a pole and spin the pole. Amazingly the plate spins and stays on the pole. The plate spinner gets another plate and puts it on the second pole. Now there are two. The process is repeated and then there are three, then four, then five, then ten. None of the plates will fall as long as you keep the plates spinning. Eventually there are so many plates and so many poles that the plate spinner cannot get to each plate in a timely way. Eventually the plates start to wobble and fall.

Some people live their life with a plate spinner mentality. There is much to do and many plates that need to be spun. Plan this and do that. Go here and go there. Do this and do that. Yes. Yes. Yes. I will do it! No you will not. You cannot. Eventually the plates will fall.

For all the “Plate Spinners” here are four guidelines that can help you:

1. Think. Spend some time thinking before you do. “First sit down and estimate the cost.” (Luke 14:28). You cannot know you what the right thing is unless you begin by thinking thing through.

2. Prioritize. You cannot do everything. Life is about picking the important things. Do the less important things when you can, life is about priorities. Jesus said that not all commands should be given the same weight. There is a “greatest commandment.” (Matt 22:36). Unless you learn this principle the important things of life will be left undone because of the urgent things.

3. Follow through. Once you have a plan, follow the plan. There is an children’s question that asks, “If there are six men on a log and two of them decide to get up and go to town, how many men are still on the log?” The answer is six. Just because they decide to does not mean that they have.

4. Decide to get over the stuff you let go. Do not waste today’s precious time regretting the stuff you decided not to do – even if you made a bad call. We all make mistakes. Do not pile yesterday’s worry onto today’s agenda. Jesus said, Matt “Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (6:34).
   

Lonnie Davis